Dear Antonio
by Celina Wood
Summary: Romano is leaving Spain leaving only a letter in his place, What are the Italian boy's last words? A sad one-shot that could be open-ended, human names used! Please R&R...?
1. Dear Toni

Dear Antonio,

Okay here goes a damn stupid letter:

By the time you get this I'll be gone, maybe dead, maybe just on the other side of the world, I don't know now but I'll be gone I promise you that. I can't do anything you basterd and you know this so why did you try for my? **Why did you even try?!** You could have just left me instead of trying to make me better, is that what you wanted, a better me?

Alright, fine, it wasn't your fault. I know it was mine, I know I've screwed up too many times, god damnit I know! I hate that every time you look at me I feel as though I should snap at you, you deserve better, you need someone **nice**… I wish I could be that person. I **don't** want to be a mostro in your memory but I know I will be, I've been evil to you when all you've done is raise me and love me completely, why can't I be like you?

You know I'm battling depression and that's not your fault, if you need someone to blame for this blame me. I'm the one who's a selfish brat, I just want to be loved and you've been the only one who does love me. My brother is better, go fight the potato loving basterd for him you'd be better off with him. Feli can draw, sing, cook, he's **perfect** I comparison **I'm shit **stuck under your shoe. I'm depressed because I just wanted to feel like I was good at something to, I wanted to know my place, I wanted people to care.

I love you Antonio. Grazie for everything you've done for me, Grazie for loving me, grazie for giving me advice, Grazie for being yourself in this **hell** called earth (I for one know that's really hard). I needed you, I still do as I write this, **I need you! **AndI **miss** you damnit, why didn't you visit me more?! I needed you to comfort me, maybe if you had been there I wouldn't have died, yes I'm dead, I'm gone from one hell to the next, see you there? No you're too good for that.

Okay that's it, don't cry, stay happy okay? I'm going to miss you and I hope you'll miss me to, don't see me as a mostro please…? Bye, see you later maybe, I love you with all my heart. Wow, I really sound stupid don't I?

Te amo,

Lovi

P.S. Grazie for not calling me Lavino, I really appreciate that.

_A/N: SO SAD! Poor Lovi… btw I used some Italian and some Spanish… I used Google Translate so please tell me if something is wrong! __**Grazie is thank you, Mostro is monster… Italian, te amo is I love you… Spanish. **__Yeah so anywho, please review, please?_


	2. Dear Lovi

Dear Lovi,

I found a letter from you yesterday, a simple letter, and yet it made me cry harder than I had ever cried in my life.

I'm so sorry Lovi I wish I could have been there! I **blame myself ****completely **I just want you back god dammit! I wish I could hold you and tell you it was alright, I wish I could kiss your forehead and smile sweetly at your blush, I want to see you.

It was your brother who told me… he came running in, eyes full of tears, and told me you had poisoned yourself. To tell the truth my first thought was 'he didn't chicken out?', but then the truth set in, you were gone, weren't you? I couldn't take the news for a week, locked myself in my room…wouldn't eat… **I** **miss you! **I miss the way you'd be in a good mood in the morning and I'd screw up once and you'd lose it, I miss the way you sat next to me as I played guitar and told me I sucked, I miss the way you'd come running back to me when you felt sad or hurt, I miss your failed attempts at chores, I miss everything.

I guess I missed my chance to tell you I love you, I failed there didn't I? I'm looking back at your letter now and thinking of how things would have been if I had said those three little words… **I love you!** I never wanted you to go, and definitely not like this, I want you back Lovi but I'm going to honor your wish and I'm going to move on. See Lovi? I'm smiling… see?

Even as I lay this letter on your grave I'm slowly getting better, Lovi I'll never forget you… you're perfect, thank you for showing me how to love.

Te amo,

Antonio

P.S. I would never call you Lavino… I knew it hurt you

_A/N: Poor Spain… poor Romano….I just want __**everyone**__ to be happy! Well… please Review…?_


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